


Afterparty

by SugarsweetRomantic



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Crack Treated Seriously, Drinking, Drinking Games, F/F, F/M, Gen, M/M, Multi, Never Have I Ever, Nonbinary Viktor | Iskall85, Other, Polyhermits (Hermitcraft RPF), Season/Series 07, The Turf War (Hermitcraft RPF)
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-11
Packaged: 2021-03-15 14:55:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 824
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28690539
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SugarsweetRomantic/pseuds/SugarsweetRomantic
Summary: The Hermits all have a little too much of spiked MooPop after the turf war is over and decide to play Never Have I Ever. It goes as well as one might expect.
Relationships: Falsesymmetry/ZombieCleo, Joe Hills/ZombieCleo, Minor or Background Relationship(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 57





	Afterparty

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning: alcohol.

“Okay, okay,” Iskall called out, as they poured themselves another glass of whatever Scar had infused the admittedly stupidly large stock of leftover MooPop with. “We need to play a game!” A murmur of agreeing hums went through the crowd. Most of the Resistance was slumped against one wall of the factory hall, which had become their impromptu nightclub, though Stress was leaning against the other two women in the middle of the room. The HEP was dotted around the room, with the Podzol party and their mooshroom sitting near the middle. How Cleo and Joe had managed to get involved in the afterparty and  _ only  _ the afterparty was a mystery to everyone, but it did feel like something typically Cleo, and where she went, Joe followed. Wels had been restocking WelsMart and had seen the lights. And Iskall? Iskall just seemed to appear whenever a group of Hermits decided to get drunk. 

“What, like spin the bottle or something?” Xisuma asked. “Aren’t we a little too old for that?”

“No-one’s too old for spin the bottle!” Iskall replied, juggling an empty bottle for five seconds before it crashed to the floor in front of them. “But no, I was thinking more along the lines of Never Have I Ever.” They grinned as a few Hermits groaned in response. “Come on, it’ll be fun!” Sighing, Xisuma got up.

“Alright, everybody in a circle; let’s play!”

After a bit of dragging, bribing and some whispered lewd promises if Doc and Etho would just get over themselves and play, everyone managed to sit in a shape that resembled a circle if Joe took his glasses off and squinted. 

“I’ll go first,” Iskall decided. They held up their glass. “Does everyone have a drink?” The present Hermits held up various containers of MooPop, and two bottles of water were raised by Xisuma and Joe -- the designated elytra pilots. “Great! I’ll start with an easy one! Never have I ever thought diorite was a pretty block!” Bdubs groaned from his position next to Doc, along with Wels and Grian. All three of them took a sip of their drink. After a nudge from Cleo, Joe took a drink of his water. Grinning, Iskall asked: “Who’s next?”

“Me!” Bdubs announced, emboldened and even louder than usual due to his already-inebriated state. “Never have I ever created a scheme involving free glass!” Multiple Hermits chuckled in response, and Etho frowned.

“This feels like a very directed statement,” he objected, but he threw back the remainder of his drink anyway, accepting a new bottle from Grian. “I’ll go next. Never have I ever sent a sext.”

“You’ve never sent a sext?!” Grian exclaimed while taking a sip of his drink. Etho shook his head.

“I just show up,” he explained. Shaking their heads, Stress, Impulse, Tango, Doc, Cleo, Joe, Xisuma, Ren, xB, Ren, Bdubs and Cub all joined him. The only ones not drinking seemed to be Keralis, Scar, False and Hypno. 

“Alright, you four, explain yourselves,” Grian decided. “Hypno?” Hypno stared at him, confusion visible in his face. “You didn’t drink, so you’ve never sent a sext?” 

“I thought you were supposed to drink if you  _ hadn’t _ done the thing?” Hypno asked. Sighing, Etho patted his leg. “Keralis?”

“Letters are nicer.” Grian rolled his eyes. “Scar?”

“I don’t trust the security of our servers.” His statement was met by a high-pitched protest from Xisuma: “Our servers are the most secure of the entire multiverse!”

“But who says you’re not watching the private messages?!” Scar asked in response. Xisuma went quiet. 

“Brilliant,” Cleo murmured. “What about you, False?” she asked the woman sitting to her other side. 

“Who am I supposed to send a sext to?” False replied. Shrugging, she added: “I don’t  _ have _ anyone to sext.”

“Well that’s depressing,” Iskall decided. False shook her head, smiling. 

“It’s okay. Here, I’ll go next,” she quickly distracted the group. “Never have I ever had sex with a man.” She smirked as nearly the entire group groaned and raised their drinks to their lips. 

\--

That night, as she collapsed face-down onto her bed, Cleo mumbled: “Joey?”

Pulling his shirt off and joining her under the covers, he replied: “Yes, milady?” 

“If I weren’t so tired, I would have punched you right now for that,” Cleo responded into her pillow. Joe reached under the sheets and pulled her shoes off. 

“I know,” he chuckled. “What is it?”

“It’s sad that False has no-one to send a sext to,” Cleo decided, speech slightly slurred due to the alcohol in her system and the fact that she no longer had a liver to process it all. “Maybe I should send her one.”

“Why not,” Joe wondered. 

“Yeah,” Cleo commented drowsily. “Hey, take a picture of me and send it to her.”

“Right  _ now _ ?” Joe asked. “While you’re sprawled-out drunk?”

“Yeah. Okay. Maybe not now. Tomorrow morning?”

“Whatever you want, milady.”

Joe smiled as Cleo fell asleep.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know; they decided to do this and I wrote it down. ;)


End file.
